Mental Health Monday: Being Unapologetically You
I, for the most part, love and accept myself. There are obviously some things that I haven’t truly accepted or bared to the world but I think that the awareness I have about these aspects of myself and my desire to embrace them shows me that I am on the road to true self-improvement. However, I have not always been that way.
When I was suffering through my several bouts of depression, I absolutely hated myself. My body was disgusting, my confidence was nonexistent, and my ability to take on the world was nowhere to be found. I would cut, starve, and bully myself because I had no self-respect or self-love. Everything that I did or was was wrong in my eyes. It was that way for a while.
Then, I woke up. I realized that I didn’t want to be stuck in this rut for the rest of my life. I didn’t want to spend another day cutting, starving, or bullying myself. I wanted to be happy. I wanted to be whole.
It took a long time before I was finally able to accept some of the parts of me that I was trying to suppress from others and from myself. I struggled with accepting my sexuality, my spirituality, my self-worth, and my body and I still fight those battles daily. I have to put the effort in constantly so that I can love myself for who I am rather than what I or society wants me to be.
Today, I want to share my process with you. The thing about finding and accepting yourself is that the process is different for everyone. However, I think that there are some common ways to better achieve that goal. Here is how you can start to become unapologetically you:
1. Start Being With People Who Help You to Recognize Your Worth
No one can let you know your own worth or help you discover it but there are great people out there who will help you to recognize it. Going through life, I have encountered so many people in this world who have made me feel that I was worth nothing. When you are depressed or anxious, these people verify your own negative thoughts and cause you to fall deeper into your mental illness.
Avoid these people like the plague. Don’t give your time and energy to people who knock you down. Instead, look for the amazing individuals who build you up. Look for people who give you proof that you are perfect and that you are more than capable of thriving in this world. This will give you the confidence you need to advertise yourself authentically.
2. Evaluate Yourself From a Place of Truth Rather Than a Place of Pain
I’ve been there. I’ve stood in front of that mirror and looked over myself frequently, conjuring up thoughts in my mind such as “Who would touch you?” and “You’re never going to amount to anything”. You truly believe it but here’s the thing: You cannot evaluate yourself from a place of pain or negativity.
These thoughts are not true. They are a product of your mental illness and your own warped self-image. Every thought that comes from that place of pain cannot be accepted as truth. Get the help that you need and then evaluate yourself. Take a look at your goals and accomplishments. Take a look at your potential. Take a look at yourself.
Be honest. Are you truly as ugly as you say you are? Are you so unloveable that you are alone in this world? Are you such a failure that you cannot pick yourself up. Regardless of what you believe, the answer is no to all of the above. Know this and accept it as truth.
3. Push Past Your Fears
Honestly, I’m afraid to admit that I am gay or a Wiccan. There are so many things that could go wrong as a result of that statement. People could refuse to work with me because they think I’m crazy. People could decide to comment death threats on this post because of my sexuality. I could lose people in my life just because that is who I am.
On the other hand, I could miss out on an opportunity to grow because I chose to let fear win rather than opening up to myself and the world. Fear only dictates your behavior if you let it. Fear is an obstacle that prevents you from truly living your life the way you need to. It doesn’t matter how many people choose to reject you because of you are. It matters when you choose to reject yourself because of who you are. Like it or not, the way you suppress yourself is likely to manifest itself physically and mentally and it is most likely a contributing factor to your current mental state.
4. Express Every Aspect of Yourself Daily
I make a conscious effort to focus on myself each day. I allow myself to truly feel and express my emotions, my spirituality, and any other part of myself that I used to hide away from the world. The best part of doing something daily is that it becomes a habit. You aren’t necessarily going to like getting in touch with yourself in the beginning but over time, you aren’t going to be able to imagine a life without self-reflection and expression.
5. Liberate Yourself
Go to that dance class that celebrates your body type. Tell your closest friends about who you are and what you want to do. Kiss that man or that woman. You can’t truly be free or be yourself until you’ve released it out into the universe. Do what you need to do until it becomes second nature. Explore who you are, release yourself, and then accept the outcome of those two things.
