Opinions: When They Should Be Respected (and When They Shouldn’t)

In an age where evolution and accountability are entering the mainstream consciousness as we seek to collectively grow as a society and move into a space of respect and equality, the obvious response is going to be pushback against certain ideas that do not resonate with everyone. In a lot of these cases, the response may be hateful, which has caused tension and violence between individuals with opposing viewpoints.

Let me be clear that, while I believe some people need to be called out and reprimanded for ideas that consciously spread hate or violence, I do not agree that all opinions necessarily require some of the harsher societal consequences that are carried out by those who do follow mainstream thoughts and ideas.

So, what opinions should be respected and which ones should we actively seek to eliminate?

In my opinion, I believe that there are three guidelines we should all follow when it comes to respecting the views of others, whether they fall in line with our own or they are on the opposite end of the spectrum. These guidelines include the following:

1. Opinions Are Stated Respectfully and Only in Appropriate Situations

Many people believe that free speech comes with the right to be an absolute a**hole (pardon my french), and it is important to know that we don’t have to tolerate speech from people who refuse to show compassion or, at the very least, tolerance for others. Respect breeds respect and you must think before you speak. For example, let’s imagine that you don’t believe homosexuals should have the right to marry. Although it doesn’t fall in line with my personal views, I respect that opinion because you are simply stating what you believe. You are not seeking to use your opinion as a weapon against others.

If, on the other hand, you are throwing around gay slurs and yelling at people, you don’t deserve to be respected. That type of behavior shouldn’t have any place in our society, and that lack of maturity will only harm you in the long run.

Another point to bring up in this guideline is the situation in which an opinion is stated. If you are having a conversation in which someone asks for your input, it’s perfectly fine to bring up your own personal views, even if they are not the same as your friends or family. (Of course, the conversation should be a healthy exchange rather than a tension-filled argument.) If you are stating opinions for the sake of stating them, whether that be in the workplace or at school, it’s important to remember that there is a time and a place for everything. Even if stated respectfully, you really shouldn’t be talking about your religious or personal viewpoints behind a Starbucks counter while you’re making a Frappuccino.

2. You Are Not Using Your Opinion to Emotionally or Physically Harm Others (or Encouraging Others to)

It’s not okay to use your opinions as a means to hurt others emotionally or physically, and this includes inspiring others to hurt people with your hateful speech and actions. However, while we are on this topic, we need to distinguish the difference between opinions that are intentionally damaging and those that are not.

Let’s continue with the above example, imagining that someone is telling you about their views on gay marriage. If they are respectfully stating their opinion and you get your feelings hurt, that is entirely on you. Although you may feel offended, they have done nothing wrong during the conversation. You are responsible for your own feelings and reactions to other people, and they should not have to be punished for your response.

That said, if someone is actively attempting to hurt you with their words or they are causing physical harm as a result of their beliefs, this is a problem that needs to be taken care of immediately and should not be tolerated to any extent. If there is a group of people out there who share the same beliefs and seek to spread violence and hate, this is an equally important issue to tackle.

Under no circumstances should opinions cause intentional harm.

3. Your Opinions Do Not Interfere With the Rights of Others

Believing that gay marriage shouldn’t exist is fine. Believing that you should have a say in whether or not the union between two individuals of the same sex should exist is another thing entirely. I, as a bisexual male, respect that others do not want this type of union to exist. As was stated above, as long as you put this opinion out there respectfully and respect me as a human being, there is no issue.

If, however, you believe that you have any right to dictate how I live when the rules you set do not impact your way of life, we have a problem. Opinions are fine as long as they do not begin to limit the freedom of others. No one is entitled to say how other people should live if their freedom is not affected in the process.

It’s important in today’s world to understand how to have a healthy conversation about our beliefs, values, and opinions without turning things into a warzone. If you personally struggle with these types of conversations, feel free to use the above as a guide to better help you understand when lines have been crossed and when time needs to be taken out to address potential issues.

If you have anything to add, feel free to let me know in the comments below!